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MW
10-16-2006, 12:14 PM
Campaign

You can tell it's an election year. The Statue of Liberty is holding her nose.

Candidates

I think (Candidate) is getting nervous. I saw him on TV kissing hands and shaking babies.

Congress

Harry Truman once said, "The buck stops here." George W. Bush once said, "The buck never got here because Congress spent it."

Congress is composed of two co-equal bodies: representatives who don't know the half of it, and senators who don't know the other half.

If Pro and Con are opposite meanings, does that mean that Congress is the opposite of Progress?

Conservatives

You have to be careful what you say about Tom DeLay. He doesn't have that many supporters, but they all carry guns!

Parties

God wants us to laugh. That's why he gave us Democrats.

The bad news is that the Democrats want to raise taxes for working people. The good news is that thanks to Republicans, soon there won't be any working people.

Politicians

There are a lot of Texans in Washington, and I don't want to scare anybody, but the last time so many prominent Texans were in one place was at the Alamo.