question

[Oceanbreeze]

so...I did a facebook a while ago then forgot about until my sister told me to sign her on as a friend. Now all these people from high school are coming out of the wood work and adding me as friends. But, I don't remember some of them and do feel bad. :shrug (my years books are at my mom's house in a different state)

ANYWAY....a friend asked to be added by a mutual friend and I looked at her profile and her friends and I did know her, just hadn't seen her since 1986. :panic

The point being is she's now gay, but had a different last name in high school then she does now. So, do women who get married then decide they're gay typically keep their married names?

To be honest, I never knew she was gay. But then I started thinking about the whole marriage to lesbian lifestyle and name change. :nerd

[Tampa TG]

I should probably defer to someone more qualified, but skipping over several correctible assumptions, I'll take it at face value and say there isn't a lesbian version of Emily Post and people would probably choose to do whatever they wanted any way. Same way that straight people handle it.

[Oceanbreeze]

Well, I'm straight.
But, if I got divorced I would go back to my maiden name. That's just me, though. :shrug

The whole thing just kinda threw me off because I saw her face and name and read her info then the last name wasn't clicking.

[Saguaro]

Maybe she liked her married name better , or perhaps she has young children and didn't want to change back to her maiden name til her kids are grown

[Oceanbreeze]

I guess it's a question for straight or gay divorced women.

My mom got divorced when I was 5 years old, wish she would've gone back to her maiden name. Don't even get me started on my MIL. :lmao

[ReclusiveGrub]

so...I did a facebook a while ago then forgot about until my sister told me to sign her on as a friend. Now all these people from high school are coming out of the wood work and adding me as friends. But, I don't remember some of them and do feel bad. :shrug (my years books are at my mom's house in a different state)

ANYWAY....a friend asked to be added by a mutual friend and I looked at her profile and her friends and I did know her, just hadn't seen her since 1986. :panic

The point being is she's now gay, but had a different last name in high school then she does now. So, do women who get married then decide they're gay typically keep their married names?

To be honest, I never knew she was gay. But then I started thinking about the whole marriage to lesbian lifestyle and name change. :nerd


I don't know how to answer that question. Do you not want to be her friend on facebook because she is gay? Does it bother you?

Anyway I have had the same happen with the classmates I graduated with. I ahve connected with several classmates from high school so much that I am going to try to set up a reunion in 2011 (which will be our 30th year). I started a webpage that I will use for that purpose of planning the reunion.

[Oceanbreeze]

I don't know how to answer that question. Do you not want to be her friend on facebook because she is gay? Does it bother you?

Anyway I have had the same happen with the classmates I graduated with. I ahve connected with several classmates from high school so much that I am going to try to set up a reunion in 2011 (which will be our 30th year). I started a webpage that I will use for that purpose of planning the reunion.

No, it has nothing to do with her being gay.
It threw me off because of her last name change. I didn't know if she has always been gay or it was a later in life decision. It comes down to a later in life decision and children were involved. I just couldn't place her because of the last name.

But, it boils down to whether or not women change back to their maiden name when a divorce occurs if children are involved.

I love my children, but if we got divorced, the kids would keep his last name, and I would go back to my maiden name. I took his last name because we became a union of 1 when we married, but a divorce dissolves that.

[patriotsblade]

No, it has nothing to do with her being gay.
It threw me off because of her last name change. I didn't know if she has always been gay or it was a later in life decision. It comes down to a later in life decision and children were involved. I just couldn't place her because of the last name.

But, it boils down to whether or not women change back to their maiden name when a divorce occurs if children are involved.

I love my children, but if we got divorced, the kids would keep his last name, and I would go back to my maiden name. I took his last name because we became a union of 1 when we married, but a divorce dissolves that.

If you happen to contact your old friend why don't you ask her if she made a 'decision' to be gay or if it was more of a realization.

[Oceanbreeze]

If you happen to contact your old friend why don't you ask her if she made a 'decision' to be gay or if it was more of a realization.

PB; It has nothing to do with her being gay.
It was "decision" not to live her life as a lie anymore.
I'm glad she was true to herself.

Geez...people it's about a name change, my apologizes for sticking to the facts. :coffee

[Partyless]

Regarding name changes - a friend of mine got divorced and discovered it was a costly pain in the ass to revert back to her maiden name. So maybe that was the reason?

Kind of OT - I deactived my Facebook account. One of our VPs at work was all over us to get a Facebook account saying it was part of this new Web 2.0 initiative and we should all have a profile. I thought it was a bigger PITA than it was worth - people I hadn't seen in 20+ years were suddenly wanting to be my online friend. Same idiots from high school who wouldn't give me the time of day were all cyber budding up to me - it was weird.

Besides - all that cutesy hug and game shit Facebook has was annoying. I think the original intent of Facebook was to be more of a businessperson's MySpace but the kids overtook it and turned it into something fluffy.

I'll stick to my LinkedIn account for business networking. Facebook sucks!

[Oceanbreeze]

Regarding name changes - a friend of mine got divorced and discovered it was a costly pain in the ass to revert back to her maiden name. So maybe that was the reason?

Kind of OT - I deactived my Facebook account. One of our VPs at work was all over us to get a Facebook account saying it was part of this new Web 2.0 initiative and we should all have a profile. I thought it was a bigger PITA than it was worth - people I hadn't seen in 20+ years were suddenly wanting to be my online friend. Same idiots from high school who wouldn't give me the time of day were all cyber budding up to me - it was weird.

Besides - all that cutesy hug and game shit Facebook has was annoying. I think the original intent of Facebook was to be more of a businessperson's MySpace but the kids overtook it and turned it into something fluffy.

I'll stick to my LinkedIn account for business networking. Facebook sucks!

You're the 2nd one today to mention LinkedIn.
How does it differ?

[Partyless]

You're the 2nd one today to mention LinkedIn.
How does it differ?

Linked In is strictly business networking - no cutesy smiley huggy shit. You also cannot connect with someone who don't really know - you need a valid e-mail address not just scrolling through searching for random folks from your past.

I also like it because there's a job search function in there - my DH is actively looking right now and has found several leads through Linked In so that alone makes it way better than Facebook in my book!

[Oceanbreeze]

Linked In is strictly business networking - no cutesy smiley huggy shit. You also cannot connect with someone who don't really know - you need a valid e-mail address not just scrolling through searching for random folks from your past.

I also like it because there's a job search function in there - my DH is actively looking right now and has found several leads through Linked In so that alone makes it way better than Facebook in my book!

Thanks.
I actually have 2 job inteviews this week.
That sounds like a great source.
I recently turned down another job, due to hours.
Our kids are 5th and 8th grade, dad is deployed, and I only want to work part time.

[Partyless]

Thanks.
I actually have 2 job inteviews this week.
That sounds like a great source.
I recently turned down another job, due to hours.
Our kids are 5th and 8th grade, dad is deployed, and I only want to work part time.

What do they pay substitute teachers in your area? We have a shortage here and they make pretty good money for the hours. That'd be a perfect part time job and would coincide with your kid's schedules - if you like OPKs that is (other people's kids). I'm not a fan of OPKs so I could never teach LOL!

[Tampa TG]

" But then I started thinking about the whole marriage to lesbian lifestyle "

Sorry for being a touch cautious on my reply, Oceanbreeze. The offhand remarks about choosing to be gay and the gay lifestyle are a bit like hot buttons. For instance, I didn't realize that I was transgendered until about 8 years ago, and then I suddenly started remembering a lot of questions I had about myself when I was younger. Questions I dismissed, at the time, because there was no one to ask, or the information just wasn't available. So, I didn't make a choice, I just suddenly realized that things were now possible which I had subconsciously buried for many years. It's not a choice so much, as an acceptance.

Hope this clarifies.

[Oceanbreeze]

" But then I started thinking about the whole marriage to lesbian lifestyle "

Sorry for being a touch cautious on my reply, Oceanbreeze. The offhand remarks about choosing to be gay and the gay lifestyle are a bit like hot buttons. For instance, I didn't realize that I was transgendered until about 8 years ago, and then I suddenly started remembering a lot of questions I had about myself when I was younger. Questions I dismissed, at the time, because there was no one to ask, or the information just wasn't available. So, I didn't make a choice, I just suddenly realized that things were now possible which I had subconsciously buried for many years. It's not a choice so much, as an acceptance.

Hope this clarifies.


I agree, I apologize for my choice of wording. :)

The whole name change is a hot button for me, as well. It also frustrates me as a woman. I tried to keep my maiden name and when I got married in 1990. My husband is in the Army and wasn't accepting of my maiden or hyphenated names after marriage. :shrug

[Tampa TG]

Yeah, that's hard. People talk about bringing baggage into a relationship, military families barely get to unpack the bags.

[Sweet Tart]

If something were to happen, I'm going to choose a brand new last name :ohyeah

[Tampa TG]

:coffee

That's the second time you've nearly rendered me speechless. Actually this time you succeeded.

[Oceanbreeze]

:coffee

That's the second time you've nearly rendered me speechless. Actually this time you succeeded.

That's why she's TPA's Sweet Tart. :heart.

[Saguaro]

Tart Second moon rising

[Sweet Tart]

The cock flies in the face of the rabbit :para

[Indigo]

I think the original intent of Facebook was to be more of a businessperson's MySpace but the kids overtook it and turned it into something fluffy.

Totally OT but Facebook was actually started by a bunch of college kids to be a college kid's networking site. Originally you had to have a university or college email address to even join. Later on it was opened to businesspeople and those who weren't in college.


http://thefacebookguide.net/Facebook_Origin_And_Expansion.htm

[Tampa TG]

Sorry, thought I needed coffee but it was nap time. I unloaded 50 cases of water last night which my boss ordered on Friday because of the Hurricane. Stumbled across my copy of Better than Chocolate on the way to bed, had heck of a dream trying to figure out if I was Judy or Francis.

[Oceanbreeze]

I never saw the movie. :shrug

But, since you mentioned chocolate. :grub

We're going to Williamsburg, VA, Columbus weekend and thanks to you :snicker now we're going to visit one of my favorite haunts. Thanks for the reminder, my hubby won't be pleased, though. :snicker

http://www.thetrellis.com/dessert.html

http://www.dessertstodiefor.com/

[Tampa TG]

One of my online friends from back at Sexilicious was Chocoholic, also from Texas. I went back there the other day, but it was cached. HerCurve got sold to a perfume company, but I found a link to another site which is actually just about to open. I'm not in any hurry.

[Oceanbreeze]

:boyhowdy that's an interesting site to say the least. :snicker

[BartonX]

If you happen to contact your old friend why don't you ask her if she made a 'decision' to be gay or if it was more of a realization.

See how easy and utterly appropriate that is? :)

[Tampa TG]

It's been a few years since I was there, and a bunch of us left at the same time to form a new board where we had control over access. It was sort of a high learning curve for the membership, being in charge of ourselves, and we've drifted apart since then.

"Better than Chocolate" is a lesbian film that was made in Canada, and one I consider to be nearly flawless. Typical girl meets girl story line, but I have to admit I cringe at some of the efforts I've seen at GLBT film festivals, especially the stuff where gay men are doing drag.

There's a subplot in BTC, involving a transgendered person, Judy, who does this fantastic music number, called "I am Not a Fucking Drag Queen" which really about says it for me, minus the lipstick.

If you have Logo in your area, they run an R rated version once in a while.

[Sweet Tart]

Better Than Chocolate is a great movie :yep

[BartonX]

Better Than Chocolate is a great movie :yep

I say: "Make Rabbit A Habit!" :max

[Tampa TG]

Better Than Chocolate is a great movie :yep

(that was a leap frog, may as well add to the menagerie)

Especially since straight actor's played most of the parts. "Judy" actually used to play romantic roles in Canadian films opposite the woman who played the mother.

"Prey for Rock n Roll" was maybe better drama, except for the ending. I hate flawed endings.