Thursday thoughts

[AYFR]

Thought fo the day
" Anything less than 100% is a compromise."

Question to ponder
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink what ever comes out"?

Daily fact
The male gypsy moth can "smell" the virgin female gypsy moth from 1.8
miles away

[Oceanbreeze]

We fly out today, take care. :)

[Trueblue]

Have fun, OB. Happy Flying!

[Sweet Tart]

Moo :para

[McLovin]

Happy Happy Thursday. Getting closer to FRIDAY! :frolic

Get free. Get fresh. And get funkay! :dance

[issac the dragon]

:coffee Good morning. Its my day to pay bills. I guess I am lucky I can do it. How's that for optimism?

[Alotta Fagina]

Moo :para


:lmao

[cassandra]

Morning. OB prayers for safe travels.

Why is homemade bread so hard to resist???

[McLovin]

:coffee Good morning. Its my day to pay bills. I guess I am lucky I can do it. How's that for optimism?

I think that is very optimistic. :yep

Can you pay mine, too? Or is that too optimistic? :lmao

[cassandra]

LOL Lola that could be a bit too optimistic.

I am so excited. My new diaper bag came yesterday.

http://www.fleurville.com/products/sling_tote.html

[Sweet Tart]

I really like that :yep

[cassandra]

They are so eco friendly. I do love the design though. :) It will go so well with my new orange stroller!

[cassandra]

Good news, only 2.5 hours until bedtime. :)

[issac the dragon]

My apologies to YDT, but I had to post this.

ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
__________________________________________________ _____
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?
WITNESS: We both do.
ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
WITNESS: We do.
ATTORNEY: You do?
WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
____________________________________
ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-one-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty-one.
__________________ ______________________
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you shittin' me?
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th ?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Uh.... I was gettin' laid!
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Are you kidding? Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Now whose death do you suppose terminated it?
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Guess.
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on deadpeople?
WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people. Would you like to rephrase that?
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him!
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Huh....are you qualified to ask that question?
______________________________________
--- And the best for last: ---
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

[Saguaro]

:lmao