View Full Version : WAYS TO BE A GOOD LIBERAL
Wabash
12-20-2006, 04:55 PM
1. You have to be against capital punishment, but support abortion on demand.
2. You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity.
3. You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding citizens are more of a threat than U.S. nuclear weapons technology in the hands of Iran or Chinese and North Korean communists.
4. You have to believe that there was no art before federal funding.
5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical changes in the earth's climate and more affected by soccer moms driving SUV's.
6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial, but being homosexual is natural.
7. You have to believe that the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding.
8. You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach 4th-graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.
9. You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but PETA activists do.
10. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.
11. You have to believe the NRA is bad because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.
12. You have to believe the ACLU is good because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.
13. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.
14. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, Gen. Robert E. Lee, and Thomas Edison.
15. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides are not.
16. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked anywhere it's been tried is because the right people haven't been in charge.
17. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag queens and transvestites should be constitutionally protected, and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.
GOD BLESS AMERICA
Oops, can't do that either!!!
You forgot
You have to believe that stem cell research is better of being funded by a governemnt that can't afford a new shuttle instead of being privately funded.
Semantics
12-20-2006, 05:17 PM
I'm not a good liberal. I'm a freak. :lol
TrueBlue
12-20-2006, 05:19 PM
I'm not a good liberal. I'm a freak. :lol
:hug
Wabash
12-20-2006, 05:43 PM
You forgot
You have to believe that stem cell research is better of being funded by a governemnt that can't afford a new shuttle instead of being privately funded.
Yep, I did...Sooooo many Liberals...so much air!:rofl :rofl
Oh one more
You have to believe that it would be better for US citizens to learn spanish than for the immigrants to have to learn english, so as not to offend or be racist.
cassandra
12-21-2006, 09:58 AM
Good list!
April15
12-21-2006, 12:58 PM
Top Ten Signs You're a Fundamentalist Christian
10 - You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods
claimed by other religions, but feel outraged when someone denies
the existence of yours.
9 - You feel insulted and "dehumanized" when scientists say that
people evolved from other life forms, but you have no problem
with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt.
8 - You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing
in a Triune God.
7 - Your face turns purple when you hear of the "atrocities"
attributed to Allah, but you don't even flinch when hearing about
how God/Jehovah slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in "Exodus"
and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in "Joshua"
including women, children, and trees!
6 - You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek
claims about gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem
believing that the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave
birth to a man-god who got killed, came back to life and then
ascended into the sky.
5 - You are willing to spend your life looking for little
loopholes in the scientifically established age of Earth (few
billion years), but you find nothing wrong with believing dates
recorded by Bronze Age tribesmen sitting in their tents and
guessing that Earth is a few generations old.
4 - You believe that the entire population of this planet with
the exception of those who share your beliefs -- though excluding
those in all rival sects - will spend Eternity in an infinite
Hell of Suffering. And yet consider your religion the most
"tolerant" and "loving."
3 - While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics
have failed to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around
on the floor speaking in "tongues" may be all the evidence you
need to "prove" Christianity.
2 - You define 0.01% as a "high success rate" when it comes to
answered prayers. You consider that to be evidence that prayer
works. And you think that the remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply
the will of God.
1 - You actually know a lot less than many atheists and agnostics
do about the Bible, Christianity, and church history - but still
call yourself a Christian!
April15
12-21-2006, 01:00 PM
Republican Virtue
No one likes us-I don't know why
We may not be perfect, but heaven knows we try
But all around, even our old friends put us down
Let's drop the big one and see what happens
We give them money-but are they grateful?
No, they're spiteful and they're hateful
They don't respect us-so let's surprise them
We'll drop the big one and pulverize them
Asia's crowded and Europe's too old
Africa is far too hot
And Canada's too cold
And South America stole our name
Let's drop the big one
There'll be no one left to blame us
We'll save Australia
Don't wanna hurt no kangaroo
We'll build an All American amusement park there
They got surfin', too
Boom goes London and boom Paris
More room for you and more room for me
And every city the whole world round
Will just be another American town
Oh, how peaceful it will be
We'll set everybody free
You'll wear a Japanese kimono
And there'll be Italian shoes for me
They all hate us anyhow
So let's drop the big one now
Let's drop the big one now
Randy Newman
Apparently, I'm not a vvery good liberal or republican.
FunDeeMental
12-21-2006, 02:36 PM
4. You have to believe that there was no art before federal funding.
10. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.
15. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides are not.
:snicker
Kitka
12-21-2006, 02:52 PM
1. You have to be against capital punishment, but support abortion on demand.
I guess it's more of being aware of the difference between the two :shrug
2. You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity.
Eh, you also can believe both do both. This is not a liberal thing. In fact, most liberals think we have first hand experience in governments creating oppression :snicker
3. You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding citizens are more of a threat than U.S. nuclear weapons technology in the hands of Iran or Chinese and North Korean communists.
And apparently to be anti-liberal you have to think it's either/or :roll
4. You have to believe that there was no art before federal funding.
Now this one? I have to say - I agree with. I don't support federal funding for the arts outside of public school program funding, though I value the arts very much.
5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical changes in the earth's climate and more affected by soccer moms driving SUV's.
Again, it's not either/or but framing it in that way is definitely a conservative talent...
6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial, but being homosexual is natural.
There are gay animals of every species. It's just silly not to realize being homosexual is natural.
7. You have to believe that the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding.
One role most people agree that the fed should take is that of handling national crisises. If they can't even let the country know there IS one, then they're pretty worthless.
8. You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach 4th-graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.
Last I heard they taught kids to read in kindie.
9. You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but PETA activists do.
Killing animals vs. not killing animals. I don't know where those damed liberals would get the idea that PETA cares a bit more about their well being than hunters LOL.
10. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.
You mean like George Bush earned his oil company? :snicker
11. You have to believe the NRA is bad because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.
Or you could just interpret that part of the Constitution differently.
12. You have to believe the ACLU is good because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.
The ACLU defends all parts of the constitution, even when I think they're shitty for doing so. Ignorance about what the ACLU does abounds.
13. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.
Taxes suck. We all agree on that.
14. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, Gen. Robert E. Lee, and Thomas Edison.
Again, it's not either/or.
15. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides are not.
To assume that the institution of education and testing established by socially privileged white males isn't biased in a way is naive. It's just not realistic.
16. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked anywhere it's been tried is because the right people haven't been in charge.
Not the only reason, but one reason.
17. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag queens and transvestites should be constitutionally protected, and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.
When being a transgendered homosexual = a religious belief and the parade is on the lawn of a city hall we can talk LOL
GOD BLESS AMERICA
and the rest of the world, too.
April15
12-21-2006, 03:55 PM
Apparently, I'm not a vvery good liberal or republican.You are a human! A moderate one. That is good.
TrueBlue
12-21-2006, 04:11 PM
1. You have to be against capital punishment, but support abortion on demand.
I guess it's more of being aware of the difference between the two :shrug
2. You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity.
Eh, you also can believe both do both. This is not a liberal thing. In fact, most liberals think we have first hand experience in governments creating oppression :snicker
3. You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding citizens are more of a threat than U.S. nuclear weapons technology in the hands of Iran or Chinese and North Korean communists.
And apparently to be anti-liberal you have to think it's either/or :roll
4. You have to believe that there was no art before federal funding.
Now this one? I have to say - I agree with. I don't support federal funding for the arts outside of public school program funding, though I value the arts very much.
5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical changes in the earth's climate and more affected by soccer moms driving SUV's.
Again, it's not either/or but framing it in that way is definitely a conservative talent...
6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial, but being homosexual is natural.
There are gay animals of every species. It's just silly not to realize being homosexual is natural.
7. You have to believe that the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding.
One role most people agree that the fed should take is that of handling national crisises. If they can't even let the country know there IS one, then they're pretty worthless.
8. You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach 4th-graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.
Last I heard they taught kids to read in kindie.
9. You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but PETA activists do.
Killing animals vs. not killing animals. I don't know where those damed liberals would get the idea that PETA cares a bit more about their well being than hunters LOL.
10. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.
You mean like George Bush earned his oil company? :snicker
11. You have to believe the NRA is bad because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.
Or you could just interpret that part of the Constitution differently.
12. You have to believe the ACLU is good because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.
The ACLU defends all parts of the constitution, even when I think they're shitty for doing so. Ignorance about what the ACLU does abounds.
13. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.
Taxes suck. We all agree on that.
14. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, Gen. Robert E. Lee, and Thomas Edison.
Again, it's not either/or.
15. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides are not.
To assume that the institution of education and testing established by socially privileged white males isn't biased in a way is naive. It's just not realistic.
16. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked anywhere it's been tried is because the right people haven't been in charge.
Not the only reason, but one reason.
17. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag queens and transvestites should be constitutionally protected, and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.
When being a transgendered homosexual = a religious belief and the parade is on the lawn of a city hall we can talk LOL
GOD BLESS AMERICA
and the rest of the world, too.
Great post, Kitka. Some of that list is incredibly silly.
I would like to point out that governments have been funding art since Bible times.
Wabash
12-21-2006, 04:12 PM
The difference between capital punishment and abortion is that one is guilty and the other is innoncent. The first deserves it, the other doesn't.
Hunters do more to preserve animal species then any other group and their fees pay for that preservation(it wasn't always like that, but it is now)....hunting often prevents over population leading to other problems....hunting provides food for individuals and familiesl!
The business vs. govt. thing...New Orleans is a prime example...
just to cite a few...
TrueBlue
12-21-2006, 04:20 PM
Not necessarily. We all know that a number of men on death row have been proved innocent. We also know that the death penalty is not a concern for most with good legal representation, and it is therefore problem only for the poor. And we also know that an embryo is not the same as a person.
Hunters do a lot for animals. So do animal rights groups.
Government does create and support opportunity, often indirectly. If you think we'd be were we are as a nation under a government that did nothing for its people except have an army, well rof, lmao.
April15
12-21-2006, 05:31 PM
The difference between capital punishment and abortion is that one is guilty and the other is innoncent. The first deserves it, the other doesn't.
Hunters do more to preserve animal species then any other group and their fees pay for that preservation(it wasn't always like that, but it is now)....hunting often prevents over population leading to other problems....hunting provides food for individuals and familiesl!
The business vs. govt. thing...New Orleans is a prime example...
just to cite a few...The difference between Capital punishment and abortion is one is required the other is just for revenge.
thornbird
12-22-2006, 11:19 PM
I'm just really confused now. I thought I finally had figured outthe different parties, now I am not so sure.
Don't worry even Americans haven't really figured it out yet:cheeky
Semantics
12-22-2006, 11:21 PM
I'm just really confused now. I thought I finally had figured outthe different parties, now I am not so sure.
Politics: in a nutshell. :lol
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