MW
09-27-2007, 07:49 PM
by David Wygan (http://www.modernmom.com/content/2740)
There are men who will not date single moms, but that does not mean that you cannot find a great and amazing guy. It just means that you need to learn how to flirt, all the while remembering who you are and what special things you bring to a relationship – and that includes children.
I know a lot of you walk around thinking that guys will not be interested in you because you have kids.
At the same time, I know of a lot of single fathers and guys who love dating single moms. You simply need to learn how to market yourself to the opposite sex.
Here are a few tips that will help jumpstart your single mom dating life:
1) First and foremost, do not presume that men will not want to date you because you have a few kids running around the house. Some men have always wanted to have children but have not yet found the right woman. Enter you, with kids in tow. What a great package! Have confidence in the fact that you are a woman and a mother.
2) Don’t forget that children are a great conversation starter. Let's say you are at the supermarket, and you start eyeing Tall, Dark & Handsome, one line over, when little Johnny starts to throw a temper tantrum.
Instead of yelling at him because he picked the wrong moment to have a meltdown, look at Tall, Dark & Handsome and say "Were you like this when you were a kid?" Handsome will probably start laughing and, while you soothe little Johnny, you can engage in a little flirtation. I can't think of a more romantic way to meet men.
3) You are in the supermarket and you and little Johnny are in heavy cereal negotiations. You want little Johnny (LJ) to have the "Breakfast of Champions," but LJ wants Lucky Charms. While you're in the middle of your negotiations with LJ, Tall, Dark & Handsome walks right by you. He's laughing and smiling at the ongoing negotiations. Instead of ignoring him, hold those boxes of cereal up and say "Excuse me, can you help settle an argument? I want my son to be a champion, but he just wants magically delicious. Which one would you choose?" Beyond charming – excuse the pun. I’d fall for it any day.
4) At the park, LJ begins playing with little Katie (LK). Is LK's dad a single father? If so, smile, walk over, and start chatting about your kids.
5) When online dating, keep in mind your first posted picture should be of you – and only you -- looking your best. Don’t post a snap in which you are changing a diaper. A man wants to see YOU and not a picture of your whole family – not just yet. Of course, when the time is right you will want him to meet your family, but you don’t need to display the whole clan on the Internet. When you do that, it looks like you are advertising for little Johnny's next father.
6) When writing an online profile, talk about your passions. Talk about the things you like to do besides being a mother. I am not telling you not to talk about how ardent you are about being a mom. But a lot of single mothers err when they write too much about their family activities. We men know how much your kids mean to you. We just want to know that there's a little time left over for you to have an adult relationship. So, in your profile, you could maybe write something like "When I am not performing my soccer mom duties, I look forward to some one-on-one adult time with my friends . . . and possibly you."
It's all about how you word it.
7) While on date, do not spend the entire evening talking about little Johnny's math achievements or his ability to leap tall buildings in a single bound. I'm glad that you’re proud of your kid (and even show it on your car with a bumper sticker that says "Little Johnny is an honor student"), but when you’re out on a date, let a man know what's interesting about you besides your children. I’m not telling you not to talk about your kids; but I am telling you to keep the night balanced. Devote some conversation to the children and talk some about being a single mom, but focus on communicating who you are as a person.
A man wants to know that you need him as a friend, a companion and a lover. He does not want to feel that you’re just out looking for a father for your kids.
When I date single moms, I already know they have kids. I want to make sure that the kids have a dad, so that if I come into their life I'll be a great addition -- not just the person driving the minivan on Tuesdays.
Take my word for it: you have plenty of choices of men out there. Finding them takes work and an understanding of how to communicate. Keep in mind, that some of the sexiest and most incredible women I've ever met have been single moms.
Of course, there's alway having your own daughter hooking you up! :lmao
There are men who will not date single moms, but that does not mean that you cannot find a great and amazing guy. It just means that you need to learn how to flirt, all the while remembering who you are and what special things you bring to a relationship – and that includes children.
I know a lot of you walk around thinking that guys will not be interested in you because you have kids.
At the same time, I know of a lot of single fathers and guys who love dating single moms. You simply need to learn how to market yourself to the opposite sex.
Here are a few tips that will help jumpstart your single mom dating life:
1) First and foremost, do not presume that men will not want to date you because you have a few kids running around the house. Some men have always wanted to have children but have not yet found the right woman. Enter you, with kids in tow. What a great package! Have confidence in the fact that you are a woman and a mother.
2) Don’t forget that children are a great conversation starter. Let's say you are at the supermarket, and you start eyeing Tall, Dark & Handsome, one line over, when little Johnny starts to throw a temper tantrum.
Instead of yelling at him because he picked the wrong moment to have a meltdown, look at Tall, Dark & Handsome and say "Were you like this when you were a kid?" Handsome will probably start laughing and, while you soothe little Johnny, you can engage in a little flirtation. I can't think of a more romantic way to meet men.
3) You are in the supermarket and you and little Johnny are in heavy cereal negotiations. You want little Johnny (LJ) to have the "Breakfast of Champions," but LJ wants Lucky Charms. While you're in the middle of your negotiations with LJ, Tall, Dark & Handsome walks right by you. He's laughing and smiling at the ongoing negotiations. Instead of ignoring him, hold those boxes of cereal up and say "Excuse me, can you help settle an argument? I want my son to be a champion, but he just wants magically delicious. Which one would you choose?" Beyond charming – excuse the pun. I’d fall for it any day.
4) At the park, LJ begins playing with little Katie (LK). Is LK's dad a single father? If so, smile, walk over, and start chatting about your kids.
5) When online dating, keep in mind your first posted picture should be of you – and only you -- looking your best. Don’t post a snap in which you are changing a diaper. A man wants to see YOU and not a picture of your whole family – not just yet. Of course, when the time is right you will want him to meet your family, but you don’t need to display the whole clan on the Internet. When you do that, it looks like you are advertising for little Johnny's next father.
6) When writing an online profile, talk about your passions. Talk about the things you like to do besides being a mother. I am not telling you not to talk about how ardent you are about being a mom. But a lot of single mothers err when they write too much about their family activities. We men know how much your kids mean to you. We just want to know that there's a little time left over for you to have an adult relationship. So, in your profile, you could maybe write something like "When I am not performing my soccer mom duties, I look forward to some one-on-one adult time with my friends . . . and possibly you."
It's all about how you word it.
7) While on date, do not spend the entire evening talking about little Johnny's math achievements or his ability to leap tall buildings in a single bound. I'm glad that you’re proud of your kid (and even show it on your car with a bumper sticker that says "Little Johnny is an honor student"), but when you’re out on a date, let a man know what's interesting about you besides your children. I’m not telling you not to talk about your kids; but I am telling you to keep the night balanced. Devote some conversation to the children and talk some about being a single mom, but focus on communicating who you are as a person.
A man wants to know that you need him as a friend, a companion and a lover. He does not want to feel that you’re just out looking for a father for your kids.
When I date single moms, I already know they have kids. I want to make sure that the kids have a dad, so that if I come into their life I'll be a great addition -- not just the person driving the minivan on Tuesdays.
Take my word for it: you have plenty of choices of men out there. Finding them takes work and an understanding of how to communicate. Keep in mind, that some of the sexiest and most incredible women I've ever met have been single moms.
Of course, there's alway having your own daughter hooking you up! :lmao